Madal Cor Scooter Wheels

© Gregory Crewdson

Hello. Just arrived. I do not know who I am. No. That's not a problem. I want to know who I am. I'm not interested in inventing a mold to stay calm. Definitions serve only to sit. From now I only care what I do, what I'm doing. Is the world better because of me? And do not speak of spectacular things, which are always small, I speak of the great things of our privacy, our corner. This is the beginning and end of everything.

How birth if one is dying? How to evolve if you feel full? How to change when things are going well? How to fix something that works? How to take the first step in the middle of the road? How to write when one feels that there is nothing to say?

A friend whom I love very much, even redundant to say both, "said the other day:" ... is to stop being who you are hard time. " Sometimes you do not realize that he must die in order to be who he is now. And what we owe we are now and not what we are not, in the habit of believing we are something concrete. We are called to the expansion, given to evolution. We're more than this little world that our brain can imagine, is very broad. And if you fear change, death ... when you feel good ... even scarier. Because if we are wrong is easy to see that something is not working and that, therefore, one should allow the change itself. But "I" felt great. Complete. Brimming. However I had slept in my own awakening. Light, love is not an end point, it's just a wonderful point of departure.

Not realizing my mistake, my pride, I had to create pain in my life to wake up. Love and pain. I have created difficulty in the easy. I've named something before time to spoil. Instead of living ... I thought. However, through the words that only serve to confuse us, through the illusory difficulty, through the absurd thought ... I am now in deep mourning. Yesterday I lost consciousness several times. And every time I gave something depertaba. I was learning at an astonishing rate, faster than what I am still able to assimilate.

In one of these awakenings saw the world's wars, I saw children torn apart by a bomb, or alive but with the body burned, I saw people killing each other without really knowing why they did it by downloading the full wrath of the abused child in their possession, saw friends, neighbors, couples, arguing all the time. I saw all this absurd resistance than we think, all this struggle against what it attacks our "reality." I saw most people feeling alone, trying to fit in somewhere, betraying not to feel anxiety, or looking for "out" so they can only find "inside." I understood that if the world is your creation, is the world that should fit you and not vice versa. And what we call "problems" or "difficulty" are just a misperception. And in a mysterious trance, through my private grief, all the pain of the world came over me. I'm dying!, I felt. What do I do with it?

What if peace, as is the love and happiness, simply be the absence of fear? What if the man was creating this conflict, all these difficulties, all this pain ... just to wake up? What if all the "bad" the world was a gift that we get to feel the impulse to evolve? Our species has always put herself as the pinnacle of evolution, yet our brain is still very sloppy. But ... if we realized, if at least a certain number of people it should give much of the confusion is only a warning that we give ourselves .. Would it help and all that conflict? If "I" understood that the inner pain I feel now is a gift ... Serve as "something? For I am not interested in explaining things. No more explanations. Always lie. I'm interested in what I do with things. Decide what to do with them. It hurts, it hurts wake of an awakening. But then you feel more alive than ever. So here I am. I say more alive than ever: Here I am.