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awakening Awakening Children Respect

Enrique, my biological father. And "me."

These images are important to me, because they seem to not be afraid.
And because I wear a laurel wreath, a symbol of triumph in my heart.

Why

where to start to finish? Say, for example, it took me a long time to unlearn to be a good boy, challenge everything that was expected of me, no fear to stop being loved by father and mother. I do not know how I noticed. I do not know where I found the strength. If I had not done I would commit suicide. My soul began to grow and demand attention, and there came a time when I could not look away. Either I hit a shot in the head with the gun my father or my revenge. So, as I am very curious and interested in life ... I cried, I started to say what he felt, attacked everything around me, I let loose all the anger accumulated from my mother's womb.

I was conceived by two small children. A mother girl who idolized his father, loving and omnipresent, and that it vanishes not matching with children. The next pair after my father was a child competing with me, forcing me to be the man of the house, and matching well with my mother. A mother full of fear of life and are constantly devalued. Although thanks to her, her lucidity, her love for me, we left my father, giving me the opportunity to grow without fear. At least until I saw him. In her talk on another occasion.

My father was not only a child. He was a fool, a redneck who felt inferior and went through life looking over everyone's shoulder. Obsessed with looking after, and looking like an object, like the other people saw, I was lying and I dressed with expensive clothes to go with his friends rich. As a child he had been tortured, and discharged all his anger with me, beaten, humiliated, despised, and mocking me in front of others. extreñía I cringed and every time I spent with him a few days. Chasing me around the house to see if they had left everything neat and clean, just as he had explained, and death was angry with me if I forgot something.

I had to kill to stay alive. I tried in several ways. At first in my heart. I thought it was enough to realize what I did not like, knowing that all he had in life was clear he did not want to be like my father. He denied knowingly. And what happened is that, according grew, I began to divert the anger that had not faced to people who did not match, especially to people wanted. Sometimes when I am angry, I was able to leave the planet to smithereens. I saw myself as he put on me and then I got into my room to calm down and mourn. When I turned away from him on it.

So I decided to be brave. From childhood I felt special, as if an extraterrestrial civilization of the future or have given birth to me to fix something. Too many movies? Maybe. But that feeling made me face my father. To not pay to anyone else ... had to return my anger to whoever inoculated. If he wanted to fulfill the mission of my soul, if she wanted to do, was to kill that monster who seemed to enjoy pushing down.

still remember the day I faced. The day I said: Enough! He wanted to shut up. Used his wife and children as shields. But I kept quiet. He could not. I said, "This time you will hear me. You're gonna hear me until the end. "And he had to do. He was pale. Is dwarfed before me as I was before him. She cried and finally I asked for help and forgiveness. There was, trying vampirizing again, the little boy who had stolen children, which forced me to be the adult to protect and defend. I told him seek help, I could not, and it did not. As if I had taken a literal weight on my back, I felt light and strong for the first time in my life and moved away leaving me alone. A few days later came for me to keep talking. At the end all I could do was hug him and forgive him, and again to leave everything alone. It was his burden. Not mine.

Al away, proud and free, I also felt strangely sad. I had in me the feeling of having revenge, rage satisfied. I was quiet at last. He had done what he never dared to do with his father. But he finished with the family curse? Was there a difference? I felt like I missed something, like I'm missing something. Was it my father just an object, an obstacle to overcome? To me for help I felt inside the eternal conflict between "good" and "evil." I felt he struggled to get close to me understand, to have value. And yet I paid I left myself regondeándome now know, in the same sadism in which he always relished. Had done something that few humans are able to do, so what? I had my medal. So what? What good were the debris that was left behind? I sensed that many tribes have known for hundreds of years: By killing someone's spirit possesses you. Or as Yoda said "Fear leads to hate. Hatred leads to anger. And the anger will lead you directly to the dark side." Years later, studying psychomagic, I realized that every act of destruction, so that it is beneficial, should end with a creative act. So in the following years I started to realize the most important alchemical process, in my opinion, one can perform on their "person."

few days ago, angry and sad, I began to write about everything I dislike in life. Then I asked again: What? Most people do this, he complains constantly. I know what I like. I have no fear to speak aloud. But what good is, what's the point anymore? What I'm creating world paying attention to it? What world do I want? Who choose to be? All this I wondered for years. As you ... I'm a unique. In fact, if my parents had not been who they were, and if I had not been conceived just as they did, "I" would not exist as we now do, or could now count on this. And I like there. I like who I am going becoming. I love life. A lot. More and more. I never tire of saying it. And I can enjoy it thanks to those two little boys who fell in love and lost, awkward, let's use that love. Because there was love in that act. I know. My mother did know.

I started to ask: What if "I" my parents chose to incarnate? There are many theories. Although you can not accept it as truth ... is a possibility and psychological changes everything. Does not take away responsibility to them, but also puts me completely. Then I become the creator of my own life, which is the real power. And I keep kicking around as I did, for all that they did not know me. That vision made me accept my father in here, open up to him, see him, embrace him with all my heart. Entirely. Had covered everything it had on me. Lay asleep, overcome, but I was. I began to recognize little by little, become friends with this part, Dred wake to explore and make peace with it. stopped killing the father. I joined him and walked. Some

Recent experiments have shown learning how genes, and how even be changed. Teach a monkey a new skill and, surprisingly, that ability is genetically transmitted to offspring without having to show it. "I" had these genes. Now I could make them my artwork. Could transform. I could give myself than anyone gave me, becoming my own father. If all "sin" is the reverse of a "virtue" ... I can turn the curse into a beautiful opportunity to evolve the species. I had to repeat anything that my father did, but he could accept the heartbeat of all that in me and give a use different, live differently, or as some geneticists: to change the expression of my genes, heal. What my father left me was only raw material. It was not a destination. All he used against others or against himself, for example, "I" could learn to use it for others and myself. Grow from a few genes, but we can make these genes evolve, teach. If we refuse to lose a huge range of possibilities that nature has willed that we had. No matter how heinous that we feel. No matter how "ugly" or "somewhat important." "Find the diamond in the lotus" Buddhists pray. The lotus is a beautiful flower born in the mud.

My father is with me forever. It is one of my many allies. Soon I will meet him physically after ten years. I have something still pending. I want to put a price on everything I did ask something in return. So he will have a real chance of being at peace with myself. And while you may not understand me also like to thank their genes and their sperm.

True goodness can not be the excuse of fear and weakness. To practice one should know being a bad boy in front of others. And above all ... to help someone, you should be aware of its destructive power. One day I destroyed my whole family. And because of it survived, and now I can make room in my heart. One day I killed my father. And as a result I learned the power to resurrect it and love it. Not so "he" is. I feel for him no more than what I feel for any human being. But for what "I" am.

Like most of humanity now, was a son of two people trained to not recognize and live their own greatness. But I'm here. I came across them. And I have decided to educate myself and make a difference. "We make a difference?

As two edges of a wound
one to my father and my mother .

(A. Jodorowsky)

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The good

Lord Shiva.

Whenever someone tells me, sad or angry, referring to another person: "I do not understand!" I say I do not understand, that the fund itself understood and if not yet consciously so, sure with a little effort can do it, if you do, if he really cares. Say you do not understand an attitude or a way of acting is a proud reaction to it. So you feel morally superior, and perhaps without realizing it, becomes what he says does not understand something not worth knowing. Maybe you understand it would suffer even more, or maybe he would rethink his own worldview, or how much would that not understanding what he says is also part of himself. Angry because we do not understand that something is defendersnos before it, despise, absurd considering what is not appropriate or do not want to correspond with us.

Faith is a fundamental requirement for the miracle to occur. But not only faith works. As the old alchemists said: If you have faith, Imitate. Understanding works the same. If you really feel you do not understand, imitate that understanding, imagine what it would be if you understand. "

When I wrote about the quantum leap some people react psychologically uncomfortable as I have said. Immersed in a process in which trust, would not think they were wasting their time. And is that all too often make the mistake of taking the part for the whole, believe that exposing a possibility devalues \u200b\u200bthe possibilities already known. When all it does is dissolve enriches responses and prejudice, creating new ways of thinking that happens to us. Someone told me love: "To me the process I work." And of course they work. Been operating since humans started to tell stories. The sudden decision of consciousness, quantum leap, always available. It can also happen, we decide whether or not, in any part of the process. And I thought important to expose how it works and even provoke.

However, if you love someone, do not push me along a certain path, or give you advice. Both are attempts to take power. Only that person can help him find his own way to solve it feel to be resolved. And if you have chosen the way of doing this, we can only respect and promote this way. However much we weigh. Little as it suits us. If that person has chosen it is the "best" for her. Whatever happens. Take you where you ride. That person you love, for example, honest, brave, has risked as can happen in your life and in my life. But you are following your inner voice, and that makes me love her even more.

There are certain things I usually ask very often:
What do I do? Learn how to make your own decision.
What is right? There is no "right". There is the real thing, which is always "right." Whatever you want deeply. Only you, manifestándote as you are at that moment. Listen and act.
But what should I do? Des should make once and for all any "should." One can only do what is right when the fruit of desire and not from any self-imposed rule. What I think of you who look at you has nothing to do with you. They are only thinking.
How do I? Whatever you have decided ... begins to do so, and you will start de-covering the how. Or maybe you just understand that how when it's over.

Of course all these answers I give myself the first. As Richard Bach said: "You teach best what you most need to learn." And remember that you are free at any time to change the road, accelerating the process, or a quantum leap. Are the author of the story, besides the protagonist. You are the master and not the slave. There is only uncontrollable and inevitable process. We do not know where we go, but come on. That mystery ... Everything else is at your disposal.

And if you choose a process ... enjoy it. And if another is chosen to help him realize it. By respecting the process of a loved one can find, as a gift to that person will do it without realizing it, a process that had buried itself. And here I am. I chose a process, living a story he had written so far and I want to finish. I know how it ends, in part, but I want my brain understands I am able to live this adventure, I can. I feel with all my being I need to live. And I do not want my conscience to be an excuse for inaction. Why did not understand you?